i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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