we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
