Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Randomize
