Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
