Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
