You're so nebulous sometimes
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize