honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
