It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
