I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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