what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize