I think I died a long time ago.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
