i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
