The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
