**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
