i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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