The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
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