he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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