i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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