Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
