My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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