Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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