Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
