i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
