if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
