it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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