he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
