better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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