You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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