hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
