Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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