The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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