in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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