i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
