just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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