Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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