I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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