and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize