dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
