I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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