please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
