His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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