Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
