I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
