We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
