physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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