I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
