Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize