i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
