Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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