What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize