Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
