I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
