70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
