They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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