I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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