btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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