He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
