we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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