mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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