She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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