Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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