Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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