sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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