I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
