I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
