Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
