I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
