Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
