I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I AM VODKA MAN
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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