what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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