My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
