Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
