he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
3 2 1 whiskey
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
