school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
