I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize